Talking To Children About A Loss

 

While seeking information and help for adults when dealing with the grief of a child following a loss I chanced upon a really nice site. It comes from the Sesame Street Family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grief is complex; it encompasses a wide range of emotions that can come and go in waves. Use these tips, videos, children's story, and guide to help your family communicate with one another, express emotions, and begin the process of moving forward. You are not alone. And with time, you and your family will experience new happy moments together.

 

Grieving as a Family: Finding Comfort Together

 

Explaining What Happened

 

Your child may need concrete explanations of what death is. For example, in a gentle way, you might say, "When a person dies, his or her body stops working. The heart stops beating and the body stops moving, eating, and breathing." Sometimes, young children may not understand that death is permanent and will ask questions like, "When is Daddy coming back?" or make statements like, "I am going to show Mommy my new picture." Continue to be concrete in your explanation. Use words like "died" and "dead," rather than "went to sleep," "your loss," or "passed away." While these phrases may seem gentler, they may also be confusing. Since young children often think literally, they may assume, for instance, that if others look hard enough, a "lost" parent could be found.

 

For some help with explaining death to your child, watch the video Talking About Uncle Jack" and use the conversation between Elmo and his dad as a model.

 

Letting Emotions Out

 

Children may experience a wide range of feelings — anger, sadness, hopelessness, disappointment, confusion, loneliness, guilt, worry — but they may not always have the words to identify these emotions. Assure your child over and over that everyone, including yourself, has big feelings, and there are no feelings too big — or too little — to talk about.